A woman looks out for a recovery sponsor for a twelve step program

For newcomers, finding and asking someone to sponsor you in a twelve-step fellowship can feel as awkward or nerve-wracking as asking out a prom date. It does not, however, have to be!

Finding the right sponsor is a fundamental aspect of twelve-step fellowships, and one of the most rewarding parts of the program. Here we breakdown how to find the correct sponsor for you.

Before we jump into the guide, however, we should note a few things about sponsors. First, it is common practice to pick a sponsor who has at least one year of continuous sobriety and has been through the steps.

Second, it is customary for the men to stick with men, and women to stick with women. Finally, never be afraid to ask group members for help with finding potential sponsors if you are nervous or confused at a meeting.

Attend different meetings

First and foremost, it is crucial to attend as many different meetings as you possibly can. This A woman speaks to her sponsor about her past addiction issueswill give you the greatest exposure to potential sponsors, and prevent you from limiting yourself to a small group of people.

Most newcomers choose to do what is referred to as a 90-in-90, which means 90 meetings in 90 days.

Not only does this help us get into a solid routine in early recovery, but it gives us the maximum exposure to finding a sponsor.


The key to choosing the right sponsor for you is listening. Listen to each share, and try to find someone whose message you particularly identify with.

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It also helps to choose someone whom you want what he or she has – not necessarily material things, rather, where they are at in their lives now that they have found recovery. The key is to keep an open mind and listen to each share.

Temporary sponsors

It may sometimes take a little trial and error to find the right sponsor for you. There is nothing wrong with this, and it is actually encouraged to ask someone to be your temporary sponsor.

This serves as a trial period with your new sponsor, whom you can decide to stick with or find a new one. It is important to remember that there will be no hard feelings if you decide to find someone else.

Get to work!

Once you have found someone who you can trust and feel comfortable with, it is time to get to work! In order to achieve what our sponsors have, we are going to need to put the same action that they did into our own program.

This is why having a sponsor is a fundamental aspect of recovery- for they are the ones who will guide us through the tough times in early sobriety and help us begin our new lives free of drugs and alcohol.

Final Note

This article is intended for those considering a new way of life, free of the pain of drug and alcohol addiction. For more information on recovery and anyone seeking help with addiction and substance abuse problems, please call True Recovery at (844) 744-8783 or visit us online.