It’s the question that we all ask ourselves when we start to feel off. Our bodies are feeling different; we have some numbness, our heads feel fuzzy, and our stomachs keep turning inside out. At first, we wonder if we are sick with something. The flu? A really bad cold? Something that we don’t even know the name of? There are so many things running through our heads, and this constant stream of possible problems keeps building and building until finally, we have our breaking point when we fear the worst: have we lost our minds? It’s weird, there is this slightly humorous connotation with that question. Maybe because it’s been used so many times in highly dramatic moments in movies or shows that we now associate it with actors playing up the scene. But even with that slightly funny feeling to it, it becomes a very real fear for us when we are faced with our bodies not working the way we are used to. Suddenly, everything is out of whack and we feel like we have lost control of our own bodies, which is a completely jarring and terrifying feeling. It grinds us to a halt and completely derails everything. We have no idea how it happened and have no idea how to make it stop. We know it is something in our heads so we instinctively go to the worst possibility: insanity.
The Fear of Insanity When Things Have Gone Wrong
We know that feeling. We know how scared you are feeling in it. You can sit here and list off all the reasons why you can’t be insane, why your mind is still intact. You can focus on your surroundings; you feel the chair you’re sitting in, the air on your face, the fabric of your clothes on your skin. You are present in the moment; you are sane. But what if it all isn’t real? What if you’re making it up in your head? That progress and work to keep yourself grounded are gone and you’re right back where you were. It’s a terribly difficult feeling to shake off. You are caught in this vicious circle of constantly questioning the world around you and you can’t get out of it. No matter what you do, you keep questioning everything in the back of your head.
You are okay though. Trust us, you are okay. That questioning in your head is common, we’ve experienced it too. It isn’t rare or bad to have those questions; it’s just a response born from fear. You are not insane, you have not lost your mind. Things are just a little off, some chemicals are just misfiring, but it all is completely fixable. You are not too far gone to seek help, and help is available to you. We know how hard it sounds but you just have to keep going, keep grounding yourself as best you can, and believe us when we say that you are going to be just fine. These questions and paranoia can be overwhelming but we encourage you to speak out about them. Talking to someone about them, vocalizing them and giving them form with words, can do so much to ease the fear. Sometimes, just talking will help the moment subside and you can feel as good as you possibly can. Keep talking and you will be okay. You’re okay right now but talking will get that questioning to quiet down a bit. We know that feeling like you can’t trust the world you are seeing or experiencing around you. Beyond just causing fear, it can cause an amount of sadness as well, as you start to feel like you are past a point of no return. You feel like you can’t ever get back to where you were before. You feel like everything is different and it’s going to stay different. It is disheartening and absolutely gut-wrenching.
We know what you are going through and we hope that that fact will help, at least a little. Help you to feel less alone and like you are understood. Make you feel a little bit better about the whole thing. But we know that the bigger issue is still present and won’t go away. No amount of words that we can say will be enough to change it; that is going to come down to you and the effort you make to change it. It comes down to you seeking the help you need. That’s why we are here. We are here to give you that help and can help devise the best process possible for you. You don’t have to do this alone; we can be there with you in the darkness. As long as you make the effort to reach out to us, we will be there. We can promise you that.
If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with anxiety or mental illness,
do not hesitate to contact the team here at True Recovery at (866) 399-6528.